Parent-Child Insta-Calm

“Try Parent-Child Insta-Calm!”

This un-patented way to calm your child from a tantrum, put your babe to sleep, provide recourse after an overwhelming event, or simply reinstate sanity from a long day can also calm YOUR soul and make YOU an, overall, more pleasant individual. It’s tailored and designed specifically for you and your child! This rhythmic technique is used by billions of people every single day. It’s free and you have access to it at any moment.

What is it, you ask?

Your breathing. But not just any breathing. You want those nice, long, deep, and juicy breathes. Inhaling with the gumption you’re about to go under water for 3 minutes and exhaling, if you’re like me, with the winded response of a gusty wind.

“So what do I do?”

For babies and children of any age, you want to hold them close to get the best effect. (This can also be down while nursing). Breathe in deeeeeeeep and slow. Exhaling slowly and gently. The key is a natural and relaxed breath. Don’t concentrate on the sound of your breath (even if you’re trying to put your child to sleep), the point is to release ALL tension and allow your body to fall into strong, rhythmic breathing that has the amazing ability to soothe your soul. It’s your body coming to a center in the embrace of your warm and glorious baby–your soothing calming energy penetrating the core of your child. Again, I want to stress that even if your inhale and exhale is a bit laborious-sounding, that’s okay. Just allow it to flow freely and uninhibited; focusing on the that voluptuous gulp of oxygen whirling through your lungs and rolling out through you nostrils [or mouth]. Trying to control it by “quieting” the sound will cause more tension in your body thus creating tension in your child. Your breathing can continue as long as you’d like or as soon as a nap or calm are restored.

The science

A study done by Pierre Phillipot correlated our emotional states with respiration. When participants of the study were anxious or frightened their breathing became more quick and shallow, but when they were happy and calm their breathing transitioned to that of slow and full inspiration and expiration. Breathing techniques and patterns are regularly advocated for relaxation, stress management, control of psycho physiological states and to improve organ function (Ritz and Roth, 2003). Anatomically speaking there is a favorable equilibrium (balance in breathing pressures) with breathing, which can be easily disrupted by fatigue or prolonged sympathetic (excitatory) nervous system arousal as seen with stress. (The Science of Breathing, Sarah Novotny and Len Kravitz, Ph.D. Yogis have long understood the science of breathing

Note: This is not pranayama. I’m not a practicing Yogi, so “controlled” breathing isn’t in my repertoire, in fact, as written, probably goes against all formal prana teaching. This is a technique, I believe, can be obtained and utilized by anyone and since my long raspy breaths can calm me and my own child, I recommend them to anyone. It doesn’t hurt to try.

Testimonial: From experience, this technique has put my children (I’ve used it on both) to bed or nap in less than 10 minutes. It’s completely rebuilt me after a long day. In fact, today was one of those days. It’s been a long time since I’ve used my breathing to put my children to sleep. It was a rough day, full of angst and annoyance. I just needed a moment, alone. My children (1 and 3) are typically in bed by 9 pm, but tonight, I just needed to lay there (we co-sleep) and HOPE that maybe they’d be ready for bed early. It was 7:30. So my kids hop up with me and my youngest started to nurse and my oldest, who’s been cranky today, too, gathered close. I started my breathing, because I needed something. In no more than 10 minutes my daughter was out and my son was calmed. He fell asleep a bit later, but was gentler and soothed, because I was. After another 20 minutes of quiet talk with my toddler he rolled over and in another 10 minutes he was asleep.

…and with every deep breath, every cell cried “Hallelujah!”